just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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