in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
