Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Panties = found
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
