they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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