yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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