WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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