Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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