I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize