You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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