Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize