i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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