Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize