The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
