Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
