so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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