Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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