I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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