worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize