Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
