Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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