The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
