You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
