My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
