I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
