I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
