Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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