Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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