News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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