Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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