What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
