You're earring is so big in my mouth
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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