these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
