i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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