looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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