he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
