i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sarcasm needs its own font
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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