I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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