So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
