the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i think im in europe. pls send help
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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