why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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