Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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