I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
