Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm getting married
To pizza
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize