Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
