I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
