Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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