these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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