chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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