What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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