just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
