Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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