Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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