i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
