I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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