Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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