she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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